Monday, July 28, 2008

Just Close Your Eyes And Pump

Americans : If politicians can't lower gas prices, let's pray that God intervenes.

God : Been there, done that. Now stop bothering me.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

One Final Farewell

Well, it's been a month. So if GC got his way, America's greatest philosopher has now been properly disposed of. Gonna miss you buddy. Thanks for the laughs, your honesty and courage.

Upon my death, I wish to be cremated. The disposition of my ashes (dispersal at sea, on land, or in the air) shall be determined by my surviving family (wife and daughter) in accordance with their knowledge of my prejudices and philosophies regarding geography and spirituality. Under no circumstances are my ashes to be retained by anyone or buried in a particular location. The eventual dispersal can be delayed for any reasonable length of time required to reach a decision, but not to exceed one month following my death.

I wish no public service of any kind.

I wish no religous service of any kind.

I prefer a private gathering at my home, attended by friends and family members who shall be determined by my immediate surviving family (wife and daughter).

The exact nature of this gathering shall be determined by my surviving family (wife and daughter). It should be extremely informal, they should play rhythm and blues music, and they should laugh a lot. Vague references to spirituality (secular) will be permitted.

George Carlin

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

God Hump The Queen

... the libel laws of England and Wales are tilted so heavily against the defendant and involve such monumental costs ... they amount to censorship by private interests : a sedition law for the exclusive use of millionaires.

Perhaps you don't live in England or Wales, so you think this has nothing to do with you. You're wrong. English libel law now applies to everyone on Earth.

Why can't these pompous busybodies mind their own fucking business?! Haven't they messed the world up enough already?