Thursday, October 29, 2009

Man With A Plan

Ahmed Muhamed Dore married 17 year-old Safia Abdulleh. And then the 112-year-old groom, who has five previous wives and 13 children, said he's hoping for more offspring. Wow! ... I'd like to get his autograph.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Blood Of The Lamb

[murdered Catholic priest Ed Hinds] last seen alive after a child safety seminar at the church ... police had been fingerprinting and photographing young children ... investigating possibility killer could have been someone father hinds [sic] had counseled in the past.

Ummm ... Yeeeah.
Investigating is probably a good idea.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Made In America

"I tend to watch American news. I don't like to watch Canadian news and hear what everybody is saying about me ... My hobby is to watch politics elsewhere."

Evidently Canada's prime minister doesn't care that American news is predominantly make-believe, doesn't give a shit what Canadians think of his ability to govern, and is in no mood to field suggestions for improvement. But at least it helps explain the current government's exceptional and repeated incompetence.

And it helps to explain away some other odd statements as well,
such as : "We also have no history of colonialism." Somewhat.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


"We knew that this would really appeal to the 20-something crowd" said Playboy.

Alright people, we are now way beyond officially fucking weird.
Playboy's new CEO is Scott Flanders. Coincidence ... ?

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Getting Dumber By The Day

This list of Random Thoughts of People Our Age offers 55 revealing gems penned by people born ... oh, let's take a wild guess here ... in the 1980s. Enjoy.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

31. Bad decisions make good stories.

44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

49. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

A Dog's Life (Part X)

The city of Pomona recently had a wild council meeting.

A possibly less-than-credible man during public comment complained that the local minister asked him "to have sex with a young girl," and despite his refusal, he had witnessed parishioners "kissin' on each other and lickin' on a dog."

If you think I'm lyin ask my probation officer