Monday, June 23, 2008

Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker and Tits!

His last award will have to go to "heaven" because America's greatest genius EVER has died. George Carlin and his list of seven words you can't say on television are no more. That really fucking sucks.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Gator Bait

It was Adrian Jay Apgar's second naked run-in with gators. Elsewhere in Florida, a police officer had a run-in with one and shot it because the alligator was laughing at him.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

La Vie Extraterrestre

(Photo : Imperial College)
L'émergence de la vie sur Terre a été rendue possible grâce à la contribution d'éléments extraterrestres, confirme l'analyse d'une météorite tombée sur l'Australie par des chercheurs britanniques.

L'équipe de l'Imperial College de Londres a ainsi prouvé que les bases azotées (ou bases nucléiques) présentes sur des météorites sont bien venues de l'espace et ne se sont pas incrustées sur elles après leur chute sur Terre. Ces bases sont aussi présentes dans l'ADN des cellules vivantes.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

... A Cold Day In Hell

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Less than a month after declaring polar bears a threatened species because of global warming, the Bush administration is giving oil companies permission to annoy and potentially harm them in the pursuit of oil and natural gas.

... the Fish and Wildlife Service said oil and gas exploration will have a negligible effect on the bears' population.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Snake Oil Sales Way Up

Democratic New Mexico Senator Jeff Bingaman : "Americans are happy to have reliable oil supplies from Canada."

About 43 per cent of Canadians said they are prepared to stop oilsands production even if it meant paying more for gasoline, while only 31 per cent of Americans agreed. Respondents on both sides of the border — 75 per cent in Canada and 68 per cent in the U.S. — said oilsands development is a "good thing."

A Sorry State Of Affairs

(Photo: Tom Hanson/CP)
OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canada, addressing one of the darkest chapters in its history, formally apologized on Wednesday for forcing 150,000 aboriginal children into grim residential schools ... Many survivors say they were abused mentally, physically and sexually. Children were beaten for speaking their own languages and told they would be damned unless they converted to Christianity.

Of course, some survivors say it's too late for apologies and that, furthermore, another one is owed to them :

"I don't blame Stephen Harper for what happened. It's the religious program that done the job, that's how I look at it," Albert Bernard said. "I think the bishop in Halifax should apologize, and the sisters."

Just to clarify Bernard's statement, in one of the most stomach-turning examples of religion and politics crawling into bed together, the residential schools were funded by the government but run by the religious orders. The United Church apologized 10 years ago for its inhuman role in this program but the reactionary and retrograde Catholic Church refuses to do so. Should we be surprised? Not at all : the Catholic Church has been in Canada far longer than the United. To wit : last year, after 22 years of debate, the UN "adopted a non-binding declaration on the rights of indigenous peoples." Guess which country refused to sign?

It would be nice to suppose the Truth and Reconciliation Commission will provide Canada with some incentive for following a more sensible, humane and ethical code of conduct. But don't bet on it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Lick My Ass!

Since global warming, water shortages, AIDS, poverty and hunger have all been licked, we've started to focus on two previously unknown fields of study : laziness and stupidity.

Inventors have developed a rotating ice-cream to wipe the contents onto the tongue and save lazy guzzlers the effort of licking.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Just Say No To Drugs

After being warned since infancy about the inherent dangers of drug use, do you :

a) take them anyways because
90% of parents say medication helps you deal more effectively with problems

b) down some 'shrooms and a couple beers before getting naked and kicking in your roommate's door to propose marriage, then running around outside screaming, finally being tasered and subdued under a pile of cops

c) join the army so you can get free Zoloft and clonazepam ... ?

Monday, June 02, 2008

Friggin Freegans

... derived from the words "free" and "vegan," freegans are people who forage through trash bins in search of discarded but edible food ... not because they’re homeless or destitute, but as a statement.

Check out the website for more information on how to bring down capitalism by feasting on "the filth and stink of trash bins." Note : they do not accept unsolicited recipes.