Extra! Extra!

Editorial Feud Erects Artistic Six-metre Penis !!














... 'nuff said.

Smokey And The Dumb-Ass Bandit

For winning those thorny debates with state troopers after they've pulled you over, nobody beats DUmb-assstrategies-Inc*. Confirming that yes, you know you've had a few drinks, demonstrates a reasonable mindset, a person who is willing to bargain. Once this trap has been set, spring it by suddenly reversing course. Flex the inflexibility of your reasoning muscle by refusing to budge, refusing to negotiate your position on the very next point, whatever it happens to be. Tell them flatly that no, a driver of your pedigree doesn't consider blood-alcohol four times the legal limit to be an especially challenging variable, if for no other reason it's part of your daily routine. A firm, friendly "Dude, I do this every night" will suffice.

If it worked for Zachary R. Duis, it can work for you.
Call now.

*For best DUI results, take strategies with outstanding arrest warrants (resisting law enforcement, buying alcohol for minors, etc)

No Costume? Try Pumpkin

It's wild ...

It's crazy ...

And in the city of Boulder ...

... it makes you a sex offender.

More photos at Naked Pumpkin Run.