A People's Voice Lost

Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.

-Howard Zinn

Word Of The Day: Dumbass

Dictionaries have been removed from classrooms in southern California schools after a parent complained about a child reading the definition for "oral sex" ...

The Big One will certainly be welcome when it hits, what with the San Fernando Valley being the porn capital of the US and all ... and since the term "oral sex" doesn't even appear in the dictionary which was pulled.

The Devil's In The Details

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

Brand New Year, Same Old Fatties

Apparently Britain's fatties, or "slimmers" as they prefer to be called, are going so crazy over this ad they can hardly finish their fish'n'chips. And justifiably so because "90% of today's children will be overweight or obese in 40 years." God save the queen, the gym running the ad, and all those alien appetizers.

Brand New Year, Same Old Crazy

That Florida chill is driving drivers extra nuts ... A 92-year-old crashes into a restaurant then calmly gets out of his car. He takes a table, places an order, eats his breakfast, cusses out fellow diners ... whatter you lookin' at?!