The Meaning Of Xmas

Looking for the perfect Christmas gift? Ignore the manufacturer’s claim that it’s "gone" — you can still find a good old Flush N’ Fish if you know where to look ... How about a rotating ice-cream cone that does the hard work for you? Do your part for global obesity this holiday season.

And be sure to stay away from church, especially if you’re in Kentucky ... where a small Pike County church has voted not to accept interracial couples as members ... that's how real Christians do Xmas. Not like those heathen Japanese.