Nailed It

... inserted his penis inside the unconscious woman because he was "trying to save her life."

Not too shabby in the lunacy department, Utah, but we've got you beat. Apparently rape is also illegal here in Canada -- unless you decide to share photos of it with your friends online, which downgrades it from a crime to the mere nuisance of cyber-bullying.

And, um, yeah ... we're trying to rectify that problem.