Holy Popes, Batman! An Easter Miracle!

So you've canonized two popes in one day - that's one helluva of a start to one helluva PR campaign. But what's the follow-up: how do you tap into that once-in-a-[church's]-lifetime opportunity? Well ... Catholic Church is training new class of priests to perform exorcisms ... growing public demand. "Diabolical possessions are on the increase" ... since 1999, church has attempted to coat it with a sheen of secular legitimacy by requiring that the "demon-possessed" obtain medical clearance before an exorcism is performed ...

That's getting a little too scienctificulum factus for comfort, isn't it your Holiness? What's next - you going to start looking for the soul? ... oh, you stumped me with this!