Toronto Totally Crunk

(National Post)

I've said it for years, but the city of Toronto is home to some of this planet's stupidest motherfuckers. And they just keep piling it on, as if their only mission in life is to prove my point.

Shortly after 2300 last night yours truly entered St. George subway station, one of three in the city with access to both TTC* subway lines. The ticket collector had come out of her bullet-proof booth to hand out transfers to a bunch of people ... which is kinda strange. Nevertheless, I made a point of showing her my monthly pass and headed for one of the turnstiles to be on my way ... luckily my iPod wasn't ripping tunes to the max.

After nodding in acknowledgment of my paid fare, she returned to her discussion with the dozen or so people milling around the turnstile to advise them there were no east- or westbound trains. What was that?! Thanks for telling me, you lazy fuckin' cum catcher! Fortunately I have the option of going north and taking an alternate route using a bus. But holy shit-burgers Batman, how does this story not even make the news the next day?

On that northbound train the TTC announced there was no power from Ossington to Woodbine stations, a distance easily equaling half the city. At the corner of Yonge and Bloor were two or three hundred people waiting for a bus which was
a) supposed to replace a six-car subway designed to carry hundreds, although a bus holds at most 70 or 80 ...
b) already full ... and
c) conspicuously alone in dealing with this stranded mass of humanity.

A similar emergency shuttle bus had already passed me by and it was impossible not to wonder why more of them hadn't been pressed into service to accommodate all these shipwrecked customers, whose only obvious options were to wait on a bus with ample room for them to get on and to pray** they'd be home before sunrise. This exact same thing happened 6 months ago. So good luck with that G20 Summit in June, assholes.

* [TTC = Take The Car]
**[Never a good sign. If god answered prayers, you'd have a car]