The Look Of Love

Britney Spears and [ex-] husband Kevin Federline arrive for the Sony BMG Grammy Party in Los Angeles February 8, 2006. One day after Spears filed for divorce from husband Federline, the dancer and fledgling rapper responded on Wednesday with court papers seeking spousal support and custody of their two children. (Photo REUTERS/Chris Pizzello)

If Britney was pissed "after an American magazine published photographs of her on her honeymoon," she's going to shit herself, and probably a couple of the 24-karat diamonds she swallowed to hide from that hunk of a husband, when she hears this. I've never been much into gossip, but this time I just can't help myself. Check it out :

Pop singer Britney Spears' estranged hubby Kevin Federline has reportedly threatened to go public with the couples honeymoon sex tapes if she fails to make a hefty payout to him and hand custody of their two sons.

As a sane person I would have imagined that Britney -- you know, being a celebrity and all -- would have thought twice about romping around as Kevin's Video Vixen. But I would have been wrong. Yet again.

The home-made video is believed to show the naked couple enjoying an uninhibited range of love-making and sexual games. It was made during the first weeks of their relationship two years ago.... A pal close to Kevin Federline was quoted by the News Of The World : "At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn't keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex. Britney didn't think twice about making the video at the time. She mistakenly believed that their love would last."

So in other words, Britney-logic goes something like this :

- I'm horny. Let's do it.

- OK.

[ten minutes later]

- I'm still horny.

- Me too.

- I want to do it all the time, every waking minute of every day until I die.

- Me too.

- Let's do it again.

- OK.

[ten minutes later]

- Let's do it again.

- OK. [clothes being ripped off in haste] Hey! Let's videotape ourselves doing it so that way if we ever feel like doing it but don't feel like doing it we can watch ourselves doing it.

- OK. [here, imagine a little thought bubble, like in a comic strip] What could possibly go wrong?