Sunday, November 11, 2007

Go To The Source

The UK's Anorak has staked out an interesting niche for itself : "Keeping Tabs on the Tabloids." The Strange But True section (not to be confused with the strange-but-true stories appearing as news in the tabloids) is especially juicy. Here are three sample headlines :

Getting On His Wick : Monk Gets Candle Stuck In Penis

... trainee monk Dumitru Ilie is said to have got "hammered" and spent the night with a woman who may or may not have been a nun.

In the morning Dumitru awoke full of regret and with a candle wedged up his penis.

Stripper Booked For School Drama Class
...drama class ... halfway through the ... a knock at the door. "Something is about to happen," says the teacher. The "birthday boy," 16, is fitted with a collar and led around the room on all fours. The woman strips down to her bra and knickers. Cream is rubbed over the boy's body.

"That's it. That's enough," says the teacher. That's drama.

Man Charged For Having Sex With A Bicycle : Boneshaker Arrested
THERE is no gentle way of saying this : Robert Stewart has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught "trying" to have sex with a bicycle.

Coitus interruptus accidentallus may have had something to do with the choice of the verb "trying" over the verb "having" in that last sentence.


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