The Butt Stops Here

It was a good run, but[t] it's the end of the line for a story we've been following with glee since 2007. In Valentine, a remote Nebraska town of about 2,600, police arrested a 35-year-old man suspected of greasing his ass and/or groin with petroleum jelly and/or lotion before imprinting said slathered appendages and/or orifices into the windows of local stores, churches, hotels and/or schools.

"This isn't normal behavior for Valentine," said Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott. "It's an embarrassment for the hardworking people who live here." I wonder if the authorities were alert enough to put the Buttcheek Bandito in a windowless cell?