Yard Sale

Zimbabwe put its wild animals up for sale on Tuesday, saying it needed buyers to step in and save the beasts from a devastating drought ... What luck! It just so happens that on Tuesday one of the world's best-known buyers had his schedule free up for a couple of months, so all of those parched Zimbabwean leopards and elephants will soon be getting all the bottled water they need. Of course, they'll have to pay for it themselves, because you know which brand it's going to be.