Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Stone[d] Tablets

It's a good thing Professor Benny Shanon is Jewish, otherwise we might have had a religious war on our hands. Evidently, Moses dropped the tablet containing Commandments 11 through 15. (Hey, Mel Brooks was right!) According to Shanon, we lost out on edicts such as Thou shalt not bogart thy joint and Thou shalt not submit shepherds to mandatory urine samples. Check it out :

When Moses received the Ten Commandments from God, he was summoned right to the top of Mount Sinai. But the man who led the Children of Israel to safety may have been even higher at the time, if an Israeli academic is to be believed. Psychology professor Benny Shanon says it was likely Moses was hallucinating under the influence of a mind-altering drug at the time of his biblical achievements.

To back up his theory, Professor Shanon says the acacia tree, frequently mentioned in the Bible, contains one of the most psychedelic substances known to man. The professor, who came up with his theory after experiencing firsthand the effects of a hallucinogenic brew used in religious rituals in Brazil, said the story of Moses and the burning bush also had the hallmarks of a psychedelic experience.

Writing in the journal Time And Mind, the professor said the telltale signs of drug-induced visions included a loss of sense of time, seeing bright lights or fire, the blurring of the senses and profound religious and spiritual feelings.

Of course, whenever we offered this theory as a smart-ass reply in high school, two assumptions were always in play :

1. This theory would eventually go mainstream.
2. This theory would always get you kicked out of religion class (so you could go do some hallucinogens and be closer to God).


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